I’m glad to announce that i was selected to be a part of the exhibition ‘In Memory Of’ at The House of Smalls Art Gallery in Chipping Campden, England.
For details about the Exhibition please click linked image below.
Please note that this exhibition includes references AND IMAGES RELATING to ILLNESS, LOSS, ABUSE, DEATH AND (EARLY) MISCARRIAGE.
In Memory Of is The House of Smalls Chipping Campden Gallery’s fifth show and exhibits the work of 75 artists in both the dollhouse and main space.
~ A show for artworks made in remembrance of someone lost/left.
Not all memories are loving.
Yesterday I was pregnant.
Photography A4 (each)
£POA
Bernadette Louise an artist, writer and researcher, but above all else, a mother.
When this piece was made, early miscarriage wasn’t talked about – even the past 10 years have seen a massive increase of awareness and openness to disclose early miscarriage, which is an improvement on the way things were.
It always felt wrong, being pregnant and no one knowing, and then one day, you’re no longer pregnant and still no one knew. It’s a private loss, a hidden mourning for a baby that was expected but never came.
With ‘silent miscarriage’, no one knows, until you’re faced with a sonogram of an empty sac or a static blob in utero. It’s a loss that never goes away. Even into the following pregnancy, the anxiety of loss, and fear of it happening again is excruciating. Never being able to enjoy the prospect of becoming a mother, just waiting, and waiting.
Although ‘Yesterday I was pregnant’ was created in 2011, Bernadette only exhibited these pieces in 2014, rushing around between London and Worcestershire, pregnant with baby number 2, whilst toddler number 1 was at nursery. The dynamic of parenting and creating artworks was logistically and emotionally challenging. Furthermore, in the years since, Bernadette has been diagnosed Autistic, following her children’s diagnoses. This threw a new light on much of her previous artworks about female identity. Everything took on a different meaning, and never had the need to make art felt so urgent. Since then, there has been lots bubbling under the surface, with focus on research and autism. Bernadette is now picking up where she left off, by sharing this work with audiences to add to a growing discourse around the healthcare of mothers, including those who are autistic, and to encourage conversations about how the experiences might differ.
When this was written Bernadette was unaware that she was Autistic, and had to deal with a range of isolating emotions, that now make more sense.
