Recognition, Resurgence and executive function
After a long time, I have actually decided to re-enter the art scene. It feels like it’s come along all of a sudden, and it has even surprised me how quickly. But when I look at the build-up over the past few years, since Covid especially, I had been doing a lot of self-reflection. I was so fed up during Covid, unhappy and trapped in a life that I didn’t recognise, or want. I was so bored with my existence that I just randomly decided to do a Masters. Although I had to make the choice about courses, Art or Psychology. – MA or MSc, how could I choose between two career paths? I did not choose Art. (There was a reason I opted for Msc Psychology, which is for another post).
Anyway, fast-forward a couple more shitty years later, where I found myself doing a lot of critical/theoretical reading; starting to follow more art things online; I had been working on ideas continually but now making miniature ‘happening’s in the kitchen; actually buying art; sketchbook-ing small images; buying weird shit from eBay; I even made a commitment to myself through a tattooed sigil to follow my path.
It was all leading to one inevitable outcome. Re-emerging.
Here I am, back, scrabbling around at the last minute, trying to get images printed, organise hanging and due to my own total lack of executive function and failure to plan, pay attention and do things expected of me, it seems my autism (and adhd traits) are just running amok on my resurgence. At least this time around, I am aware of it, wy I am like it, not to feel shame about it, admit to it, embrace it, but… it might take a while to sink in how I need to counteract it more effectively going in to the future when I do more exhibitions and start to actually produce some real-life new art work.